No. Nope. Wrong again. Negative. Guess again. Okay fine, I'll just tell you.
I gauged my ears.
Now now. Before you get too upset (kinda like my mom did when I told her), let me explain.
My ears are retarded. Seriously.
I got my ears pierced at the ripe old age of 8. I remember being so excited about my new little holes in my ears - I even remember getting a lot of cheep-o I mean cute earrings for my birthday from all my other fellow 8 year olds. Well as time went by, putting in my new earrings became a problem... I had a hard time getting anything in my new piercings that I eventually gave up and stopped wearing earrings all together.
We then jump to 18 year old Katie. 18 year old Katie wanted to try wearing earrings again - maybe something got screwed up when she was 8? Or maybe she was just a dumb 8 year old that didn't know how to put earrings in? So I went and got my ears re-pierced - right in the same place as the old piercings. Well some time past by and I ran into the same problem that I had when I was 8 - I would go 2 maybe 3 days with out wearing a pair of earrings and they would be completely closed. Having spent more money on earrings then when I was 8 I wasn't ready to give up so easily - I would re-poke the holes over and over again, causeing much frustration and blood in the bathroom. I would try keeping earrings in for 2 weeks at a time and still if I went one day with no earrings the next day was another episode of poking and frustration.
Eventually (about a year ago) I gave up again. I would still have random moments when I really wanted to wear earrings (i.e. my wedding) and I would go through the process of re-poking holes, but by the end of the day my ears would be so sore that I'd take them out and not try again for another 3 weeks or so.
Well this past week in the process of moving and seeing all the cute earrings I've collected over the years - some that I haven't even tried to wear... I thought again, I really want to make my ears work. Then enters co-worker with recently gauged ears (hi Grace!) - she just went up a size from the regular ear piercing to start the processes for her future bigger holes. After talking to her about my problem I concluded that maybe I would try stretching my holes out a bit and then they wouldn't close so easy (or at all, please?).
So yesterday Braedon and I moseyed over to our local Blue Boutique (recommended by said Co-Worker) to look into gauging my ears (and also to pick up some fun items for the wonderful Stanfields that got married that day - Hi Ben and Kelci!).
As we started to explain my story and situation to the Piercing guy (piercing Artist?) he had this "Ya ya, whatever, I'm sure it's not that bad - I'll be able to get earrings in those ears - CAKE" look. He then asked to see my ears, I pulled back my hair and he gave them a look and felt around the lobe for the hole - this is when his "Ya ya, whatever, I'm sure it's not that bad - I'll be able to get earrings in those ears - CAKE" look turned into a "uhhh... what the heck is wrong with yours ears - I can't believe what I'm seeing/feeling" look. He then said that he believed that gauging them would help with the problem and that we could try to stretch them out, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to do it so we might need to pierce them.
Now - anytime I hear the word 'Pierce' in the same sentence with the word 'Gauge' I get this picture of a giant hole punch for human flesh - which is something I never want close to me. So I told him, let's just try to stretch them.
So I get in the special chair - we had decided that we would go to a 14 (normal piercings are a 18, so just two sizes up). He procedures to caution that it will be a series of pinches and pressure and that he can go as slow or as fast as I feel comfortable with. I get a little nervous, but then remember I've gone through multiple kidney stones before and it can't even come close to that bad.
He then starts to massage my ear lobe and puts some type of cleaning goop on it as he confirms that face I saw him pull while he looked at my ears earlier. He has never seen ears like mine before - not in his 12 years of piercing and gauging. He has had people come in that haven't worn earrings for 30 years and he knew it would be no problem to get earrings back in them - but my wonderful ears he was worried about. Awesome. Apparently they were closed - but did't have any scar tissue, which I suppose is unusual? But he continued to say that he always likes a challenge, and it looks like I would be the greatest challenge he's ever had. Again. Awesome.
Side Note: What the freak is wrong with my ears? I would like to say that I have super healing powers... but the rest of my body doesn't seem to follow that suit.
So he starts the process - not near as bad as I thought it would be. It was painful, and there was plenty of 'pinching and pressure', but nothing horrible. We get the right ear completed and he looks pretty pleased with himself and says "that wasn't quite as bad as I thought it might be". So we start with the left ear - which I'm shortly informed is worse then the right ear.
At this point an image of me with lopsided holes in my ears popped into my head as he tries to get his little tool through my ear.
But with much coaxing and pushing and massaging he was able to stretch out the left ear and get the plug in. (Yay for matching holes in my ears).
Honestly all in all it wasn't a bad experience. The piercing guy was really calm and very gentle and since he had about 7 gauges in his ears, I felt pretty comfortable in his hands.
Now I know some of you may still need some mollifying - I know when I hear the word 'gauge' I think of this:
So to sooth any worries I have taken a couple of shots via my crappy cell phone camera. Observe:
|The hole is as big as the metal part, not the clear plastic part. Nothing too crazy big.|
So we'll see if this works and makes it so I'm able to wear normal earrings with out so much distress.
If not - I'm giving up the whole institution of wearing earrings forever.